Sects Therapy
A health warning on some possible pitfalls of psychology
Lead vocal: frankie howerd
I was lonely & depressed
Having fled the family home
When i met an old acquaintance
I had only barely known
And i told her over tea
Of my worries & my woes
And a morbid fear of eating beans
In tightly fitting clothes
And she said psychoanalysis was just the thing for me
And she knew a mayfair analyst i really ought to see
So i went round to his rooms
And he saw me right away
Though he asked a sum of money i could ill afford to pay
But i lay down on the couch
By a bowl of flaccid flowers
And i talked & talked & talked & talked
For hours & hours & hours
And he told me tales of oedipus with great authority
And he asked me if my mother
Wore stiletto heels & rubber
And i realised that this poor soul
Was more confused than me
Well the shock was so profound
That i fled into the strand
Where i saw a hare krishna group
And joined in with the band
This was just the life for me
Free of worldly goods & care
And i chanted & i ranted
Round & round trafalgar square
I converted tens of thousands & they joined us then & there
But the bagwan was so jealous
That he called me over zealous
Then he threw me out
When i refused to cut off all my hair
(dr. ruth, dr. ruth, why not write to dr. ruth?)
So i wrote to dr. ruth
And she helpfully proposed
I should join a nudist colony
And throw away my clothes
All that sun upon my flesh
Would set my libido free
And would guarentee much more of it
Whatever 'it' may be
But i don't feel that i was quite equipped for such a life
Fair of skin just like my sisters
Too much sun would give me blisters
So i think i'll turn the whole thing in
And go home to the wife
